The Adventures of the Missing Lashline

Alright ladies.

Something happened over Christmas break that is literally every girl’s nightmare….
Sit back and relax as I take you through this tragic story….

Time: December 21, 2010 at approximately 10:00 am
Scene of the crime: Bedroom (with terrible lighting)
Murder Weapon: A shoddy six yearr old Shu Uemura eyelash curler
Victim: Miss Louie
Event: Twas’ the fourth day before Christmas. I was getting ready for an exciting day of Christmas shopping. My elbows were ready for shoving, and my fingers were ready for snatching. It was truly magical- the air was filled with Christmas joy and unbeknownst to me, my day was filled with shitty luck. After squeezing into my new Gilly Hicks jeggings, I hurried and threw some foundation and creme blush on. As I’m about to rush out of my bedroom door, I decide last minute that I should throw some mascara on (as not to scare the fellow Xmas shoppers with my sleepless, puffy eyes). I reach for my Shu “Old Faithful” Uemura eyelash curler, and as I go down for the crunch, I suddenly feel a gentle rainfall of delicate hair fall upon my cheekbones. Some of the fallen soldiers had tumbled into my mouth… and I chewed them while sobbing (lol jk, gross). I slowly opened my eye only to be confronted by the unthinkable…. HALF OF MY LASH LINE…. GONE… IN AN INSTANT. The rubber piece of my curler had been missing, and my curler decided to take my lashes as replacement… a sacrifice to the beauty gods. My stomach fell into my butt. Nausea overcame me as I tried to slap myself hard enough to wake me up from this nightmare. It cut right at the root…. and it left me with a half barren lash line.

Exhibit A: Forgive me. I know this is frightening in more ways than one, but this is all I have of that day.

QuickFix: I headed directly to the salon and got eyelash extensions. DO NOT DO THEM! They are a monster to take care of, you can’t wear make-up, and when they fall out… they hurt so bad! Looked good for the first two days, but not worth it. Though, it was hilarious trying to see the old Chinese lady try to glue little black hairs onto a bald surface.


Exhibit B: Eyelash extensions – Half lash line

Salvation: Rapidlash. I ended up settling on this brand after buying Peter Thomas Roth then quickly returning it after my senses came back to me and realized I didn’t want to dish out $150 on hair growth serum. I got Rapidlash for only 25 buck on, and seriously…. it’s a miracle in a bottle. It’s such a steal and it really works!!!! I SWEAR BY THIS!

Exhibit C: Two and a half weeks of use (both eyes, no makeup)

My lashes were darker, lusher, longer, and stronger! I was ecstatic!! My cousins had been teasing me for weeks. I was so relieved that Santa granted me my wish and my little babies returned to their rightful place. Even if you didn’t weed whack your eyeball, this stuff is amazing for any lash line.


over and out,

Miss Louie

Miss Louie